


trying again

by aesphantasmal



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, but nobody dies, canon typical Juno recovering and improving his mental state, canon typical only realising your emotions at the most dramatic moment, canon typical past suicidal behaviour mentioned, death ment, it's half 3 I'm not proofreading this lmao, lots of blood, the graphic depictions of violence is leaning on the side of caution, there isn't actually much violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesphantasmal/pseuds/aesphantasmal
Summary: Juno is a different lady than he used to be.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 19
Kudos: 148





	trying again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Captain_Aurinko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Aurinko/gifts).



> it's 3:40am  
> captain-aurinko told me to write this so I did

Really, it was just a moment of bad luck.

They'd almost made it out of the building when they ran across a security guard that had wandered from their patrol path. They'd managed one clear shot before being dropped by one of Nureyev's knives, but it had found its mark. A stain was already forming under Juno's shirt.

"Juno —"

"I can get to the exit. Let's go," Juno said, already walking off, clutching his side.

"Juno, you're bleeding —"

"I know, but we need to get out of the building before I bleed out in here."

"Right. Right. We'll have to wait for the comms jammer to deactivate or get out of its radius —"

"You can ditch me once we're out of the door, Ransom," Juno said, through gritted teeth. 

They made it out of the door before Juno collapsed. He pulled himself around the corner and slumped down the wall. Getting a proper look at him in daylight, Nureyev could see how much worse it was than he had realised. The stain on his shirt was talking up half of Juno's chest, the colour drained from his face, his breathing fast and shallow. There was a trail of blood on the ground, on Juno's hands and clothes, and the smell of it filled the air. Nureyev knelt down beside Juno, holding Juno's cold, clammy, bloody hand in both of his own.

"Juno? Juno, stay with me —"

"M' not going anywhere. Call the Captain."

"The comms are still jammed —"

"Go somewhere else and do it then."

"Juno."

"I've lost more blood than this before."

"Juno, I am not leaving you here to die , regardless of what you say to try and convince me otherwise. We can just hold on until the comms jammer goes down. It can't be long now." Nureyev didn't dare check how weak Juno's pulse was, couldn't take one of his hands off of Juno's and pick up the comms. He held onto Juno like he could tether him to life if he simply refused to let go.

Nureyev had been an  _ idiot _ . For months he'd been dancing around his feelings towards Juno, insistent on staying just friends at least for now. And there was still part of him that hurt when he thought about what had happened in that hotel room so long ago,but he knew with a sudden clarity, as he listened to Juno's quick, shallow breaths, that he should have said something long before this point.

"Juno, I'm sorry."

"For what?" There was an unfocused look in Juno's eyes, and his speech was sluggish.

"I haven't been entirely honest with you, or with myself, for that matter —"

Juno put his other hand to Nureyev's lips, silencing him. "If you're gonna say what I think… don't."

_ "Juno —" _ Juno silenced him again.

It was a few seconds before he spoke, turning towards Nureyev to make eye contact, and speaking very deliberately. "I'm gonna  _ live _ , dammit. 'm not dying cause some security guard took a wrong turn." He laughed weakly. "We… We gotta stop talking about our real feelings when we think I'm gonna die." He laughed weakly. "I can hold on a while longer. Go call the Captain before I end up looking like the end result of a Kanagawa stream." Juno removed his hand from Nureyev's face, pried his other hand from his vice-like grip, and shoved him weakly. Nureyev suddenly jolted into movement, like control of his limbs had only just been given back to him, and began striding away from the building as fast as he could, pulling out his comms. It was a couple of minutes before he received any kind of signal, but the second he saw it, he took a deep breath and called Buddy.

"Ransom, is everything alright?"

"Juno's injured." He could hear the shaking in his own voice now. "He's lost a large amount of blood. I had to leave the radius of the comms jammer to call you,but he's by the side of the building."

"Alright. Deep breaths, Peter. Jet's getting the car now, Rita's going to shut off the signal jammer, you go back and help Juno. Are you injured?"

"No."

"Good. We'll see you in a few minutes." As soon as Buddy disconnected, Nureyev went straight back to Juno's side. It seemed to both be an instant and an eternity before Jet arrived. As soon as they got on board the Carte Blanche, Juno was taken to Vespa's medbay, and Nureyev was locked out and told not to get in her way. He sat down in the first seat he found, which just so happened to be in the kitchen. He didn't register that there was anyone else in there until she spoke.

"Mista Ransom?" He almost jumped.

"Yes, Rita?"

"You got some blood, uh —" She gestured to the entire mouth area. Nureyev pulled out a mirror and saw that there was, in fact, blood on his face, as well as on his hands, on his clothes, and potentially even in his hair.

"Oh. I should go and… wash that off."

"You're worried about Mista Steel," Rita said before Nureyev could even move.

"He's lost a lot of blood. I think I'm allowed to be concerned for his wellbeing."

"Miss Vespa said he'll be ok after a few days. Also, I think an evil chair, a dead guy, a lady who looked like a piranha and the old mayor of Hyperion stole half of his blood once. They gave it back, though."

"What?"

"That's what Mista Steel told me happened. I wasn't there."

Nureyev had no idea how to respond to that, so he didn't. It was a few minutes before he spoke.

"What happened to cause you and Juno to leave Hyperion City? I know… the basics, from what I've inferred from Juno and skimming through the Hyperion Times, but… He is a very different lady to the one I knew before."

"I mean, you should probably ask Mista Steel, 'cause I was only there for some of it, so I don't know exactly what was goin' on in his head. I know he's tryin' to take better care of himself, and, I mean, this is the first time he's nearly died in months, which, that's gotta be some kinda record. Just don't hurt him, ok?"

Nureyev was about to respond when he made eye contact with Rita, and saw the  _ or else _ in her glare. He hadn't thought of her as someone particularly intimidating, but in that moment, it suddenly hit him that if anyone could bring his strings and webs of aliases down, it was the woman in front of him, who was currently wearing an oversized cat sweater and had some kind of snack dust on her face.

"Trust me, I have no intention of doing any such thing."

"You better not."

"I'll keep it in mind," Nureyev said, finally getting up. "Thank you for talking to me, Rita."

"No problem," she said as he left.

Nureyev finally made his way back to his cabin and cleaned up. It wasn't like he had no experience removing bloodstains. The methodical familiarity of removing the blood from his clothes gave him time to process. Juno seemed to want to talk, but just not what he was bleeding out. Of course, Nureyev thought with hollow amusement, Juno's supposed deathbed confession hadn't exactly worked out last time. The detective was probably wise to want to avoid anything too hasty, too desperate, in the way that haste and desperation had afflicted their prior relationship. And this time was different. Last time, Juno had chosen martyrdom over survival. This time, he had fought off his own pain and Nureyev's protests to keep himself alive. And he was going to be alright. 

It was the next morning before Nureyev was allowed in the med bay. Juno's blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing were mostly back to normal, though Vespa said he would still be recovering for a while. Nureyev was there when Juno woke up. They didn't talk about what Nureyev had tried to say immediately. They just talked about anything and everything to make Juno's med bay stay more interesting. Juno's past cases. Peter's past heists. Rita would come in and make them watch streams or play board games laid out on Juno's bed. 

It was several days later, after Juno had been discharged from the med bay by Vespa, that Nureyev went to Juno's cabin and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Juno said from inside. Nureyev walked in, closing the door behind him.

"Juno, can we talk?"

"Sure. Not dying anymore, unless Vespa's decided this is her shot at getting rid of me. Sit down," Juno said,patting the bed next to him. Nureyev sat down.

He'd considered dressing up and doing his makeup properly. Here, sitting with Juno, he knows it would have felt incredibly manufactured. Juno's hair is sticking up in five different directions, and he appears to be wearing an overly large, slightly stained t-shirt and the ugliest shorts Peter's ever seen as sleepwear.

"About what I was going to say when you were injured."

"Yeah? I mean, I didn't stop you cause I don't wanna hear what you have to say, I'd just rather hear it when I have enough blood to pay attention to what you're saying."

"No, you have a fair point. Juno, I know we've had our better and worse moments, and forgive me if this sounds selfish of me, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to ignore that, despite my efforts to convince myself otherwise, I do still want to be with you. Obviously, if you don't want that, I'm not trying to force you into anything. But if you are willing to try again, I would be very happy to hear it."

"Thought you'd never ask," Juno said, with an amused smile.

"Is that a yes?" Peter said, hand resting over Juno's. Juno linked their fingers together on the bed and turned towards him, faces inches apart.

"Shut up and kiss me already, Nureyev."

Nureyev laughed, and did as Juno asked.

**Author's Note:**

> comment uwu


End file.
